Family photos: one of the most overlooked and under-planned parts of the wedding day! Did you know that a well-planned family formals list can ensure happy guests and a happy couple, but a bad family formals list can exasperate even the happiest of newlywed couples?

Don’t worry! Here’s my system for family photos that will make you feel prepared for your day and happy with the outcome!

Who to Include in Your Wedding Family Photos

You’re not going to want to read this, but I’m going to type it anyway, and I’ll do it in all caps so you know I’m serious: ONLY INCLUDE IMMEDIATE FAMILY.

Immediate family = parents, siblings and their families, grandparents, and others that are extremely close (ex: uncle who officiates the ceremony)

No more. When you start to add in aunts and uncles and cousins, this is what happens:

1. It easily takes twice as long because there are so many people and groupings we’re photographing
2. It takes longer because there’s going to be an uncle who wanders off to find a drink and we have to wait for someone to track him down and bring him back
3. Friends of the family and other extended family will feel left out, so you’ll feel obligated to include them too even if they’re not on the list
4. There’s no way to systematically get everyone in an efficient manner, so people will be hopping in and out of photos and never know when they’re truly done
5. You’ll be standing there for 30+ minutes in one spot and your cheeks will start to hurt from smiling for so long until the smile doesn’t look real
6. We lose valuable light and time we could have spent on bridal party portraits, newlywed portraits, and time for you to rest and eat before you’re announced

In short: no one is happy. Especially you. And it’s my job to help you have the best day ever, so I’ll say it again:

Only include immediate family in your family formals list.

Here’s your compromise: we can get photos of you with everyone else during cocktail hour or the reception.

I will happily walk with you from table to table or around the dance floor so you can get photos with your aunts and uncles and friends of the family. Want a big group shot with all your college friends? The reception is the time to do it. Everyone is loose and having fun and you’ll be much happier with the photos. Scroll down to see some “official” family portraits and some reception group shots, and you’ll see that you can be happy with “non-official” photos!

In short: everyone is happy.

How to Order Wedding Family Photos

Here’s my system for easy and painless family formals. Let’s assume this is a traditional family with a bride and groom and each side of the family has a set of parents, a set of grandparents, and two siblings with their own families. Alter as you need!

1. Start with a big group photo of everyone from both sides.
2. Pick one family to start with. I usually pick the side with the eldest grandparents who need to be released to cocktail hour the soonest. Let’s say this is the bride’s side. We ask the groom’s side to sit down out of the way but to not go anywhere while we do the bride’s side. Start with the whole family on the bride’s side.
3. Have everyone except the grandparents leave. Bride + Groom + Grandparents
4. Have the groom step out. Bride + Grandparents. Release the grandparents to cocktail hour.
5. Bride + Parents. Bride + each parent individually. Bride + Groom + parents.
6. Bride + Groom + Parents + Siblings
7. Bride + Groom + Parents + Siblings + Siblings’ families
8. Any last combinations with Bride’s side, then release Bride’s family
9. Repeat with the Groom’s side!

That was a lot of text. Here’s a more condensed version:

1. Everyone
2. B’s whole family
3. B + G + grandparents
4. B + grandparents
5. B + parents
6. B + mom
7. B + dad
8. B + G + parents
9. B + G + parents + siblings
10. B + G + parents + siblings + siblings’ families
11. Any last combinations with B’s side
12. Repeat with G’s family

We do this order for several reasons:

1. Minimizes the movement of the bride, especially if her dress is large and needs to be fluffed every time she moves
2. Releases the grandparents back to cocktail hour as soon as possible, especially if it’s cold or they can’t stand for very long
3. The siblings are usually in the bridal party, so we get more photos of them with the couple there, including individual photos with just them and the bride or groom
4. We ask the second family to sit and wait so we don’t lose them and have to go track them down again

With this system, we’re able to get all the extremely important family formals as quickly and efficiently as possible, and everyone is happy.

How to Plan Your Own Wedding Family Photos

When you’re not accounting for aunts and uncles and cousins, this process can be extremely easy. Here are the steps!

1. Write down all your immediate family and people you want to be in these photos
2. Write down their names and how they’re related to you. It’s so much easier to do family formals when I can read Sally + John (Bride’s grandparents) and call out their names and put them into the list instead of just reading “grandparents,” so please make sure you include names and how they’re related to you!
3. Separate them by which side of the family they’re on
4. You can either give me that list, or you can use the order above and plug in the names
5. Tell those family members before the wedding that you want them to be there for family formals. Make it clear to them that after the ceremony, they do not follow the crowd to cocktail hour. They stay for family portraits until the photographer releases them.
6. Tell the officiant to announce at the end of the ceremony that everyone is released to cocktail hour except immediate family. This serves as a last reminder to those family members you want to include and also lets the rest of your guests know that they aren’t included at that time.
7. Make sure YOU don’t go running off after the ceremony! Walk down the aisle together, but don’t go far! The last thing I need is to track down the couple while the rest of the family is waiting for them!

And that’s my recipe for easy family formals! Planning this part of the day is often overlooked, but it’s crucial for ensuring that everyone is happy and well taken care of, especially you!

To check out all the other tips I have for planning a wedding, go to my weddings category on my blog!

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